Hi, it’s just DJ.
I write, I make art, I maintain web sites, and I am self-employed. I do not own a yacht. I do have a wife (Jenni) and children (I forget their names at the moment). They also do not own yachts.
I drink bourbon, I drive it like I stole it (not at the same time) and I love messing with computers.
Okay, I didn’t really forget my kids’ names. I’m just not sharing them. If you want to steal their identities, you’ll have to dig through our trash like everyone else.
I am a vegan. It just gets weirder from here. This is your only warning.
I’m a runner. Yes, on purpose. Yes, I really do like it.
I’m a writer. I get paid to write tutorials, blog posts, and marketing copy for websites. I don’t get paid to write on this blog. That would be weird, since I would be paying myself.
I love talking to people about plant-based diets and heart disease. As in, how to avoid it or heal from it. Getting heart disease is actually pretty easy.
I’ve written a few books, but only one about providing stellar customer service. It’s called Thrilling Your Customers.
I have lived all over the United States and Europe and have decided that the best place to see the Eiffel Tower is in Paris, France.
I do a lot of different stuff to make a living and all of it is 100% legal, last time I checked.
I’ve been a professional illustrator and animator for over twenty years. Is that enough? I don’t know. Ask me in another twenty years. My clients have included MTV Networks, Highlights Magazine, Sesame Workshop, Nickelodeon and others. If you’re a millennial or the parent of one, you’ve seen my work on that show with the blue puppy and the manchild in the striped shirt.
Oh, right, I almost forgot – I also invented, designed and published a super cool, family-friendly card game called Pants! No exploding kittens or adult-themed questions, just funny pants. If you haven’t played it before, there may still be time before you die. In fact, let me know that you’re dying and I’ll expedite shipping. Pants!
If you thought that last line was funny, then we should be friends.
My wife and I both became vegetarian in 1993 and our whole family has been vegan since 2001. I’m a USAF veteran. Those two things are not related. Neither is this: I can solve the Rubik’s Cube in under four minutes.
My pronouns are they/them. Which may be difficult at first, but as long as you don’t use masculine ones, I won’t call the ASPCA. Oh, wait. That’s for dogs. I think I meant the ACLU. I just won’t call anyone, okay? You can relax.
I often wonder if I smell like outside. I don’t like to smell like outside, unless it’s a lemon tree or dewy mountain grass. So if I ask, I’m more concerned that I smell like freeway outside.
If you feel like you know enough about me, you can stop reading now. I mean, this is the end anyway.
Say hi: firstname.lastname@example.org